YOGA RAGE .. and other useful tips
One of my all time favorite cards is one with an illustration of a woman from the 1950’s dressed perfectly- ala Donna Reid- seated by a pool. The quote above her head reads: “I meditate, I do yoga, I go to spas and get massages, I sit by the pool to relax and I STILL WANT TO KILL SOMEBODY! In the same vain, a parody video that aired on Jon Stewart, but can be found on the internet, too, is ‘Yoga Rage’, depicting how practitioners ‘rage’ in the yoga studio when someone is invading their personal space, breathing too loud, coming in late, and slapping down their mat. When I googled ‘yoga rage’ to see the video again, I came across numerous articles on the topic. The ubiquitous ancient practice has become the butt of many jokes which point the finger at the fact that our ‘peaceful’ practice is not always so serene, that yogis everywhere are actually human, and rage! Novel idea! Of course we do! The mistake is in the first parody mentioned – woman by the pool believing that yoga, mediation, and spa visits will ‘fix’ her desire to lash out. None of it will fix, or create real change unless it’s applied to real life. You might get momentary serenity by going to yoga one day, but you can get that from having a drink or smoking a joint! Getting the inspiration fix from the teacher, feeling elevated afterwards is a wonderful feeling — you feel clean in mind + body. But how can we use these TOOLS to shake things up in our lives, shift dynamics in our relationships, and create change whilst still accepting who we are? Accepting who we are and what the situation is, opposed to what you want it to be, is incredibly challenging for most. However, you do not come to yoga or embrace a spiritual path if you want things to stay the same. So let’s put all the good stuff to use.
1. How to use yoga to stop abuse on yourself and others. Breathe in, breathe out: One of the main purposes of breathing deeply on the mat is to calm the nervous system, but also to anchor you into the present. We practice transitioning in and out of postures with a heavy focus on the breath to create mindfulness — when you are focused on the inhale, you are pausing + refraining — this is mindfulness — you take a breath before you step. Is the metaphor not screaming out at you here? Ok — I will spell it out — even though I have always tried to go by the old writer saying ‘assume the reader is smarter than you think they are’. Translation: breath in = refrain = take a step back before reacting, breathe in, redirect your mind before you send that destructive text, email, take a breathe in before you let your mind do all the negative self-talk. When we are on the mat, the breath out on the mat, it’s the time when you go deeper into the pose. You soften into it by emphasizing the exhale. The out breathe is the same off the mat. Translation: You have already taken the in breathe, refrained, and mindfully watched what you were about to do.. now the breath out symbolizes your softening into that moment. You did it! You created change right there! Miraculous. Your mid is workable.
2. How to use yoga to prevent ‘yoga rage’. Apply number 1 to this as well — but what happens when you don’t react outwardly, but inwardly? The voice in your head won’t stop judging that person next to you who is breathing to heavy, or that person eating chicken fingers and sucking their fingers on the subway, or that cabbie who took the wrong route! In NYC, we all think we can do it better, and yes, we are a bunch of egomaniacs here, but for the most part this is a very human reaction — the escalation of the irritation in our own minds. In this moments, what we need is to first check in with our breathing, get anchoring in the present moment, and SEE how we are just adding fuel to the irritation — guess what — no one is irritated but you. A better way to handle it for your own emotional health would be to get PERSPECTIVE. Giving your power away to the external annoyance only takes energy and power away from you that should be used on something else like your work, art, family, new hobby. Preserve your energy. Suffering is optional. The guy next to you breathing heavy doesn’t deserve your power — save it.
3. How to use yoga to give advice to your friends and GIVE BACK. It’s easy to get on the phone with your friend who is suffering from a break-up and add to the negativity, analyze, and go round and round in circles about what he/she did. But if you haven’t heard it before — yoga life is about personal responsibility, and since you have been practicing the teachings off the mat (you have, right?;)), let’s now facilitate healing in others. Tell your friend what you have tried, how applying the yoga, using the tools has helped YOU, encourage them to get back to them, AND discontinue the blaming of the other. Remember – we all have spiritual contracts with other people, so it is NEVER a one-sided contract. We are all contributing to the dynamics of our relationships — but the wonderful awareness we start to have when we actually apply the teaching is that a dynamic is not fixed — it, too, is workable, but that has to start with you.
